Notice Anything?

Notice anything?

Look closer

Yep, One Blue Eye, One Brown

I told my husband about it tonight and he said that he had known her eyes were like that for a while.

 He thought I knew, but I didn't.

He told me his moms eyes are like that, but only what she is upset.

Shelby was so happy when these were taken.

I wonder if they will stay this way,

and honestly, I hope they do. 

Peacock

While eating lunch at the Seattle zoo, birds started to swarm us. They were literally all around us and mainly black birds. Freaky. Well my brother got the bright idea to throw sandwich meat to these birds. Then it was a game with him to feed one bird in particular. This one black bird was very slow when trying to get the food, so the other birds would swoop in and snatch it before the bird got anywhere near it. Well after this went on for a while this peacock walked up. I don't know if you have ever heard a peacock before but for as pretty as they are, they sure make the ugliest sounds. It sounded like a car horn, in a wreck, under water, that was going through puberty kinda noise, ha. Well that peacock kept inching closer and closer and was an arms reach away from Michael. I was freaking out, I didn't want that bird to peck my son. I tried to shoo it away but no luck, it was not afraid. Well what does my brother do to get this bird to move? He made a sandwich scrap trail! The peacock followed the trail until he ate every last crumb and turned right back around and headed our way! Ugh. So my brother repeated the trail process while I packed us up and we went on our merry way, leaving our scraps for the birds :)

Ah-Mine(Airplane)

We had Michael's B-Day party on Saturday the 15. 

I chose to have it at officers row next to the playground because of it's location near the airfield and airport

I woke up early and had breakfast and got everything ready to go.

Sean loaded up the car for me and away I went to go get the cake and food

I was praying that the picnic shelter was available for use the whole way there and when I arrived I was finally able to breath a sigh of relief, the shelter was indeed available.

It was cold and overcast when I arrived being even more thankful we had walls and shelter from the cold and rain if it were to occur. 

My mom met me there and helped set everything up.

I set up the food table while my mom's task was putting the airplane's together and then blowing up a giant beach ball.

Sean got there with the kids and our friends and family arrived shortly after. 

Michael took to the Giant beach ball right away and the kids went out into the field and ran after the ball. The wind had picked it up more than once so my friend Nikki ran after it. It was a sight. 

We went inside and had treats and then tried to open presents. 

Michael opened 2 maybe 3 and was so over it so we all went outside and played at the playground since the sun decided to come out. 

The guys flew the airplanes around

We went back in and sang happy birthday and had cake, then tried to open more presents but it didn't happen.

All in all I am happy with the turnout, and especially happy that everyone enjoyed themselves. I am happy Michael had a good time, and was able to release so much of his balled up energy.

The funny part was that with all the airplanes coming and going, Michael was so focused on everything else that he didn't even notice the Ah-Mine's!

He's Two!!

Michael turned 2 on Friday the 14

(We bought Michael a kitchen set and I tried setting that up by myself so he could wake up to it in his room but there were too many pieces and it was late, so that project was left for daddy :)

Michael woke up and I sang happy birthday to him, the sprout version is still his favorite

I got him dressed and then fed Shelby, got her dressed and we were out the door at 8:30.

I picked my brother up and we headed for the Seattle zoo and aquarium - Point Defiance

I wanted to take Michael where there were fish, because he loves them. We thought about going to the Oregon coast aquarium but decided against it. I had never been to the S.Z.&A so it was a first for all of us.

When we got up to Seattle we were following directions via garmin and my brother kept asking me if I typed in the right address. I had found the zoo address in the garmin, it had to be right, right? We were turning into neighborhoods. Lots of houses. It kept getting more and more dense with houses and we were about to turn around when I turned right and there was woods! We turned into the woods and wound up at the zoo. Crazy.

We got the kids out and hiked down to the entrance. The stroller route took forever, long switchbacks. At one point we looked over and there was a peacock just chillin next to a car. I thought that was so neat. As a kid going to the Portland zoo they used to have peacocks roaming around, then got rid of them. So it just brought back some neat memories. We went through the gates and looked ahead and the view was A-M-A-Z-I-N-G. Beautiful view of the bay. I looked at my brother and said "I am so excited" HA! My brother laughed at me. 

We started with the wolves, then it was an artic fox, polar bears, and then these funny looking birds, otters and then the seals and walruses! We looked at the seals underwater viewing area and I was like oh my gosh look, to the right were the 2 giant walruses. It was so majestic watching these giant creatures glide through the water. Michael was in complete aww. Running back and forth from the seals to the walruses. Then the walruses started to Mate and all of the sudden this little boy, must have been 8 or so yells "Oh my gosh, they're doin it, DAD they're mating, oh my gosh, I have to go tell my dad" and he runs off. Jake and I were cracking up and we could hear the dad say, "Oh I am sure it just loves taps, they're just playing." Then he comes in to find, walla. He says "Oh well that's just nature, its natural for them." You could so tell the dad wasn't prepared for that. We kept walking and were able to witness the spotted leopard cubs playing the their pin together for the first time. The zookeepers were in the pin taking photos and video to document. It was cool it be able to witness that. We then went and had lunch which is a story all it's own, I'll post a separate blog about that. We toured the monkeys and tiger pens. Then it was elephants and then the aquarium. Michael loved it. He sat next to my brother and just watched the fish swim. It was so neat watching him in aww over the fish. We went and road the merry-go-round and left the zoo.

I cooked Michael a cheese ravioli dinner and Sean made it home. We sang happy birthday again and gave Michael a chocolate cupcake which he took his time with. Def. a lot less messy then last year :)

Michael headed to bed and Sean set up Michael's kitchen which he woke up to Saturday morning and took to it right away.  

Jumanji

I had to blog about this because it hit so close to home. My dad lives in Zanesville, OH. A little under 2 miles away from where this all went down.

On Tuesday eve the Zanesville PD received calls from neighbors that animals were roaming the yard at this animal compound. When the Police arrived they saw numerous animals roaming the field and discovered the deceased body of the owner.

The police determined that the owner had been very depressed. He had just been released from prison and came home to find that he wife had left him and that all of the animals were in very deplorable conditions. They feel like he had a breaking point, that's when he released all the animals and cut their pens, then took his own life.

There was warning signs on the highway warning passerby of exotic animals. One female lion was hit on the freeway. There were a total of 56 animals that had been released and sadly 49 of those lost their lives. 6 animals were captured and sent to the Columbus Zoo. 1 grizzly bear, 2 monkeys, 3 leopards including 1 black leopard. There was one monkey that was still on the loose but today it was confirmed that the monkey had been eatin by one of the other animals. When the carnage was over, 49 animals were slaughtered, including 18 Bengal tigers, 17 lions, six black bears, a pair of grizzlies, three mountain lions, two wolves and a baboon.

I am saddened that many animals had to loose their lives but am so grateful that not one human lost theirs. This situation could have ended much worse. I was extremely afraid because my dad lives so close to that compound and animals were spotted at far away as 5 miles. So with my dad only being 2 away, it scared me. His house sits on the back side of a heavily wooded area and easily could have been a hiding ground for some of those animals. 

Curls

Little Shelby's hair is getting long, and she is getting some wave, volume and curls! I am just giddy about this because my hair is awful. I hate my hair. It's stick straight and will not hold any curl/wave(no matter how much teasing or product I use). Michael has my lovely stick straight hair, very feathery. Shelby however has got it all. I am so excited to see how it will be when her hair fills out and becomes thicker. I am excited to be able to play with my little girls hair!  

She has more curl on the left side. It's a complete curl of the left, lots of volume up top, and just a little bitty flip on the right :) 

trouble-some twos

I do not want to call it the terrible two's, because I know what I am going through with my 2 year old can get worse, and more than likely will. I just need to get this out here, so I can look back months from now and laugh at how stressed this moment in time made me, and think that this moment was just a walk in the park. 

This eve, Michael and I went by ourselves on a trip to the grocery. It was much needed munchkin and mommy time. I thought before we left that this was going to be great, and fun. I even ditched the diaper bag and brought an actual purse which felt so nice. We got to the store and everything was fine and dandy. I unhooked Mike from his seat and he walked to the door and waited for me to get there. He held my hand and we walked through the parking lot and then up he went into the cart. For about 10 minutes things were going great, then out of nowhere he started to yell "hey". He enjoys hearing his echo so he just got louder and louder. I tried to get him to quiet down and then he started yelling "no" Once I finally got him to settle down with the yelling he then decided he was going to start kicking me, and pushing me away from the cart. Not only was he kicking, but pinching too and hard! I have no idea where he learned how to pinch, and tonight was the first time he had ever done that. After that it was a steady flow from kicking, yelling, pinching until we finally got to the checkout and this is when I lost my battle with him. Everything I had placed on the check stand he reached over and so lovingly brushed off onto the floor. One by one I picked it all up and checked out and we left the store. 

Once we were at the car, I asked Michael if he had enjoyed himself as he made it very difficult to run our errands. We are working on our manors so I was trying to get him to say he was sorry for acting out. Then these people walked by and saw me asking my two year old to apologize and I immediately felt the hairs on the back of my neck stand, almost as if I were doing something wrong, although I was not. I need to realize that I am a parent, that I have children, and discipline will have to occur in public and I can't shy away from it just because people stare. I just have a feeling that this little incident is minute to the future that awaits our growing two year old. 

"It will change your life"

I posted this on FB but it really touched me and I wanted to blog it. Being a mom is truly the most precious gift in the world. 

We are sitting at lunch when my daughter casually mentions that she and her husband are thinking of "starting a family." "We're taking a survey," she says, half-joking. "Do you think I should have a baby?"

"It will change your life," I say, carefully keeping my tone neutral. "I know," she says, "no more sleeping in on weekends, no more spontaneous vacations." But that is not what I meant at all. I look at my daughter, trying to decide what to tell her.

I want her to know what she will never learn in childbirth classes. I want to tell her that the physical wounds of child bearing will heal, but that becoming a mother will leave her with an emotional wound so raw that she will forever be vulnerable.

I consider warning her that she will never again read a newspaper without asking "What if that had been MY child?" That every plane crash, every house fire will haunt her. That when she sees pictures of starving children, she will wonder if anything could be worse than watching your child die.

I look at her carefully manicured nails and stylish suit and think that no matter how sophisticated she is, becoming a mother will reduce her to the primitive level of a bear protecting her cub. That an urgent call of "Mom!" will cause her to drop a souffle or her best crystal without a moment's hesitation. I feel I should warn her that no matter how many years she has invested in her career, she will be professionally derailed by Motherhood.

She might arrange for childcare, but one day she will be going into an important business meeting and she will think of her baby's sweet smell. She will have to use every ounce of her discipline to keep from running home, just to make sure her baby is all right.

I want my daughter to know that everyday decisions will no longer be routine. That a five year old boy's desire to go to the men's room rather than the women's at McDonald's will become a major dilemma. That right there, in the midst of clattering trays and screaming children, issues of independence and gender identity will be weighed against the prospect that a child molester may be lurking in that restroom.

However decisive she may be at the office, she will second-guess herself constantly as a mother. Looking at my attractive daughter, I want to assure her that eventually she will shed the pounds of pregnancy, but she will never feel the same about herself. That her life, now so important, will be of less value to her once she has a child. That she would give it up in a moment to save her offspring, but will also begin to hope for more years -- not to accomplish her own dreams, but to watch her child accomplish theirs.

I want her to know that a cesarean scar or shiny stretch marks will become badges of honor. My daughter's relationship with her husband will change, but not in the way she thinks. I wish she could understand how much more you can love a man who is careful to powder the baby or who never hesitates to play with his child. I think she should know that she will fall in love with him again for reasons she would now find very unromantic.

I wish my daughter could sense the bond she will feel with women throughout history who have tried to stop war, prejudice and drunk driving. I hope she will understand why I can think rationally about most issues, but become temporarily insane when I discuss the threat of nuclear war to my children's future.

I want to describe to my daughter the exhilaration of seeing your child learn to ride a bike. I want to capture for her the belly laugh of a baby who is touching the soft fur of a dog or a cat for the first time. I want her to taste the joy that is so real, it actually hurts.

My daughter's quizzical look makes me realize that tears have formed in my eyes. "You'll never regret it," I finally say. Then I reach across the table, squeeze my daughter's hand and offer a silent prayer for her, and for me, and for all of the mere mortal women who stumble their way into this most wonderful of callings. This blessed gift from God . . . that of being a Mother.

3 months old (Shelby)

My sweet little shells is 3 months old

Here is what she is up:

She sucks on her fingers constantly making the cutest noises

She smiles, A LOT

She coos and ca's and is almost giggling

Her favorite place to sleep in laying on her tummy on my chest

she really hasn't taken to her paci lately

she eats 4oz about every 4 hours

size 1 diaper, size 0-3 clothes width wise but length wise will be in 3-6 soon. 

She enjoys bath time but is not in love with drying off, she screams every time

She recognizes faces which warms my heart to the core. When I see her face light up when she sees her daddy it just melts me. I love it.

She makes so many faces and my favorite is her scrunch face, its kinda like "are you serious?!?" kinda look

She scoots downward which is making me quite nervous for the next stage in her life, rolling over and then crawling! YIKES

She holds her head up like a champ but she throws her self back when you try to hold her in a sitting position

She is addicted to staring at the ceiling, lights, picture frames, and the ceiling fan.

Her absolute favorite thing in her teddy bear mobile. She will squeal with delight when we turn in on for her and she will just babble and stare until it stops. Then she gets cranky until we turn it back on and the process repeats itself until she finally falls asleep.

&

She sleeps from about midnight to 8/9ish

Pictures and video to follow soon :) 

The life of a trucker's wife

This is a complete ramble and I am just venting my thoughts, kinds like in a journal. I am just saying what pops into my mind as I type so it's going to be all over the place, and it may get boring 

I am so grateful that my husband works as hard as he does that I am able to stay home.

When it was just us, and I had also been working the income was great, but then I lost my job, and it was just him. I planned of returning to some form of work after taking a break, but then I got pregnant, and stay at home mom became my full time job. Now my husband works non stop. He is only home 1 full day a week and maybe if we are lucky, get to spend 2 nights together. 

He is working so hard to make sure our kids have everything they need which I couldn't be more grateful for. 

Him being gone is extremely difficult at times, well let's be honest, almost all the time. I have good days where I am OK but then I have really bad/hard days where I just need to breath. In a recent blog I had said that I hardly go anywhere and that is so very true. I am at home, just the kids and I, all day everyday. I do it all, all week long, 24/7 and there is no break. No help. 

I do realize I knew what I was getting myself into, yes I signed up for this, but that doesn't make it any easier to deal with. 

I have recently started having my mom come over once a week to do dinner and a movie with me and that has helped somewhat. Sometimes my brother will stay the night. When he is there, he can just be playing his games and I will be able to do things around the house. It just feels good having someone else there.

My foster brother Zac recently received his Class A CDL license and I am extremely proud of him. He was hired on to a major trucking co. right out of truck driving school. My husband drove him down to LA a little over a month ago so he could start training with his new co. During that drive to LA him and my husband made plans and a new chapter may be starting very soon in our lives.

They plan on doing team driving together. Zac needs to get 6 months experience before they can do that giving my husband the time he needs to get his tanker and hazmat endorsements. Once they start driving together, my husband will be gone for weeks at a time.

I am at a crossroads whether we should stay in Vancouver or not. My mom lives in town as does my brother but we hardly see each other. Well just Friday's and that is just as of recently. We thought about moving to Spokane to be closer to my husbands parents where I know I would have the help and support I needed. There just isn't a lot of trucking opportunities in Spokane. We have also reconsidered moving to Ohio where my dad and stepmother live. I would be able to go there whenever I needed, and have a place to go to and relax. Ohio is also a MAJOR trucking hub and there are tons of jobs in the trucking world out there. I would love to be in Ohio near my dad. I miss him so much. My dad and I have a special kind of relationship. We are not super close by any means but it's an unspeakable bond that holds us together. My brother and him have that same kind of relationship. 

My mom lives in town. I love her, I get along with her, but I don't see her that much. She deals with a lot of her own issues that she battles with everyday. Leaving her would be hard but we would still be able to talk on the phone. My dilemma with leaving my mom, is my son. He adores my mom. I never see  him smile so big as when she comes around. He screams her names and its just all laughs. It breaks my heart inside thinking about taking him away from her, and my heart breaks for my mom. She loves him, and he alone has brought out happiness in her that neither my brother or I could. 

I just don't know whether to stay for my mom and son. Or to leave to better our lives financially. This is a major decision and one I am going to have to make soon and just pray it's the best choice.  

Bed Time

I have come to the point in parenting where my mommy skills are being put to the test. 

Let me just start by saying I love my son. He is a very happy boy, easy going, and most of the part very content.

He loves to play, help me do chores, going on rides, and just helping out and putting things away.

However, he highly dispises being told no, and going to bed. 

Michael has never been on a routine sleep schedule. He always went to bed when I did and woke up when I did. When I went to the Hosp. to give birth to Shelby my husbands parents had gotten Michael on a 10pm sleep sced. Up until a few nights ago this 10pm had been my saving grace. 

Now we are in a tooth and nail battle for bed time. It's nothing but screams, and cries, and throwing himself against the wall(literally).

I AM AT WITS END

Part of me wants to cradle him and sooth him and well let him have his way. The other part of me wants me to keep my foot grounded and let him cry himself to sleep. I have a dilemma with that however. It's hurts my heart for one and two I live in a triplex and Michael's room in located next to my neighbor's room. When he screams, jumps,& hits the wall; they hear it. Twice, they have come to the front door asking us to quiet him down. We changed his room around to where his bed is on the opposite wall but it doesn't help with the pounding and jumping. 

Last night was absolutely terrible. For two hours Michael screamed non stop. I couldn't keep him in his room in fear of bothering my neighbors so he came into bed with me and he just continued to scream. He crawled on top of Shelby which got her upset so then I had TWO screaming kids. I didn't know what to do. I called my Husband in tears at midnight and every time I tried to talk to him, Michael would just scream even louder. I ended up putting Shelby in the play pin and just holding Michael. He finally took big deep breath and starting running his fingers through my hair, eventually falling asleep, as did I. 

This may sound like I am a terrible mom, I don't know. I just didn't know what to do. I had no patience and because of that I was not capable of trying to understand why he was so upset. 

It may have been because he was hungry, or because he is getting teeth. I can't tell because he doesn't like to open his mouth and when I try doing finger swabs he bites down. 

I just prayed last night that the lord please give me the patience I need to be a good mom and to be more understanding.

Thankfully my husband was home tonight when Michael started screaming. It took about 40mins but he was able to get him to quiet down and fall asleep; giving me a breather.