Growing up is hard

Growing up is hard, especially for my brother Jake. Who on the 23rd of December turned 24. 

Jake has hardly nothing to show for himself in his 24 years of life. It seems like he is on a step ladder constantly climbing up, but getting nowhere. 

Jake recently graduated from a trade school in May so he could become a wind turbine tech. He has applied for countless jobs but it has all been dead ends. Since his graduation he has felt completely defeated. That his life was just meant to be just the way it was, a constant struggle/battle. 

My brother had been working as a bouncer in a night club downtown Vancouver but lost his job shortly after graduation. He spent a couple months jobless but then was hired by a security company to be a night time security guard. This job for his has been an absolute nightmare, ranging from rigged vehicles where he is lucky to walk out alive, to being robbed at gun point numerous time by multiple people at once. The worst was when 5 guys at once pulled guns out on him. He hasn't quit this job because of his desperation to make a living and has been unsuccessful at finding another employment solution.

Here is where the reason for this post comes in.

Jake has been sought after by a certain(large) company since mid October. He hasn't returned any phone calls to this company because he didn't want anything to do with the job they wanted him to do, which was to be a tech. on a radio transmission tower.

Now, as desperate as Jake is for a job, he isn't that desperate for this particular job because of the height factor. Jake is extremely scared of heights. He manages to stomach climbing the wind turbine towers, but dreads the thought of ever having to go any higher. 

See the picture above? Jake would be climbing the guided tower, which stands at a whopping 1768 feet. taller than the sears tower!

The worst part about being a climber on this tower is that it is a free climb, meaning no safety restraints until you have reached your destination on the tower. The reason for this is because climbing with these safety restraints would make the climb longer, and more difficult, and be more tiring for the climber. 

So now here is the issue. Jake finally talked with a hiring manager for the company Saturday. They offered him this:

Paid airfare to Tennessee

transportation to hotel & school

$17 per hour during school/training

plus $100 per Diem a day.

This would last 6 weeks.

Once finished with school training he would be relocated to one of 5 states in need of this expertise. 

Washington is one of these states, as well as Pennsylvania, and Ohio. I forget the other two.

I am scared out of my mind for my brother. I had a nightmare last night where I started screaming in my dream and woke up crying. I have yet to talk to Jake to get his thoughts but I am trying to ready myself to be as supportive as I can and not say/give any negative thoughts, even as fearful as I am. 

Deep down, I want him to go. I WANT him to try something new, for once in his life. He needs this. 

I want him to do the training, and give the 6 weeks a try. 

However, I DO NOT want him to take this job as a tec. for the radio transmission tower.

I believe deep down in my heart, that, if he does this training and completes it, he will be offered a different tech. job within the company. 

I need to pray HARD about this. 

I am so beyond torn between wanting him to go, grow.

and desperately wanting to pour concrete over his feet so he won't ever have to leave the ground. 

Here is a video of the climb to the top of the tower.

(disclaimer: may cause visual vertigo)

Welcome 2013

It is a new year!

I am looking forward to what this year has to hold. 

I have decided on a goal this year, and that is to make my mind happy.

To focus on Joy

Not sweat the small stuff

To not live in fear

I am focusing on Joy right now, one day at a time. 

I saw an idea on a blog to right one thing down, (maybe more), each day of something that has made you happy or smile. To place that piece of paper in a jar and fill it up til the last day of the year. Then you will empty the jar and read how happy you were throughout the year. 

This is my step towards Joy. I smile constantly throughout the day and am happy, but usually by the end, I am focused on the negative and that needs to stop.

Another goal of mine is to LET GO. I recently posted a blog about some issues I had been having. I didn't feel right having all that nasty out there and shortly after reading this:

"I will remember what's important, not waste my time worrying about petty issues, and continue to find joy in every day and not take it for granted." -Roxanne Tucker

I removed the post and felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders.

It's amazing how the power of words from others has such an affect on you.

Here is another quote that was posted by another blogger

(Shelly Cunningham @ loganandjack.blogspot.com)

That also touched base with me:

                  

"The best remedy for those who are afraid, lonely or unhappy 

is to go outside somewhere they can be quiet, 

alone with the heavens, nature and God.  

Because only then does one feel that all is as it should be."

-Anne Frank

It's something I do on a regular basis to center myself. I just go outside and take a deep breath of fresh air. I usually take time to reassess  the day and count my blessings. I usually can return inside in a better frame of mind.

So there you have it. My goals for the new year!