Going to try to get back on this blog train. I never really was on it to begin with but was closer on than to off.
A few days ago I finally took a leap of faith and went to talk with a counselor. I have been fretting this visit for a long time. How would I feel, would I open up, would I get along with the man/woman seeing me. The thoughts were endless but I kept praying. Finally a sense of peace came over me when I just "Let go and Let God" lead my way.
I met my counselor and I was so nervous, but that's how I usually am when I am meeting new people. Plus the attention is only on me, not on me for my kids, but for me.
My counselor was nice and soft voiced. Made me feel very comfortable as to why I was there. Helped me feel like I was taking a step in the right direction.
The counselor asked questions as to why I felt like I was depressed, learned some about me, and went through a list of things that makes me happy.
I at 27 don't have a huge list of things that make ME happy, of coarse my kids and hubby, but things I do for myself to make me happy.
I could only name of few, I am just simple. That's me. Hot bath with candles, lighting candles in general, blogging, and shopping on my own without the kids.
The counselor told me to try to do at least one of these a week for myself so here I am kinda writing this confessional, a start in helping me.
I have been on a depression medication for about a month now. I have noticed a slight change but still am getting the hang of this. The counselor suggested I up to a higher dosage to help with the areas I am still having huge issues with.
It's taken a long time for me to accept this help. To accept that I needed to be on medicine. I have fought for years to handle this depression on my own but I am at a point in life were my self help can no longer work and I needed outside help.
I ended my session with the counselor on a not so happy note. I was asked a very simple question, what do I expect to get out of these sessions. That question triggered an emotion so deep that I couldn't contain my emotions and I started to cry.
I just need to blog this for me, so I can look back and know I did the right thing, and that it was time and a great start. It's time to let go and move forward in life, I've got a great husband and two beautiful kiddos cheering me on to a better me :)
2 comments:
You are so brave to share your story. Deciding to take medication is such a huge (scary) step. Good for you for doing what it takes to get yourself feeling right. I think a counselor is a great idea (I've been numerous times) and upping the medication may sound scary, but if it helps, you'll feel soo good.
I am facing the same thing with my anxiety. I think I am going to have to increase the dose, and while it's scary, the thought of feeling better is so exciting!
Hugs to you!!!!
Amy, I had no idea you were struggling with depression. I'm sorry to hear that, I've seen it firsthand but never been through it myself, it looks hard and I'm proud of you for making changes. I can tell how much you love your family, but it sounds like you've figured out you have to be happy for yourself first. You deserve it. I agree with Shelly that you're brave for sharing your story, I think it will be helpful to look back on.
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