M.O.M.S

M.O.M.S

Moms Offering Moms Support

Today was my first day attending MOMS and I am so glad I made myself go. Last week was the first day but the group starts at 9:30am and well, we slept in. Today I slept in as well. I was going to roll over and say whatever it's to late I'm going back to sleep but instead I hoped out of bed and was in speed mode and I am so glad I was.

I am so dependant on my husband. I hate doing anything or going anywhere without him, and since he is gone almost all week, I hardly do anything or go anywhere by myself. I also have HUGE issues meeting new people. HUGE issues about my body and people's judgements. I am absolutely terrified of being put on the spot. Being the person everyone stares at. This is why I stay home, this is why I don't like meeting people. but this is why I HAVE TO

MICHAEL AND SHELBY

I have two beautiful children that deserve everything that life has to offer and that means going places and meeting people and not being afraid or shy. Looking up to their mom and seeing a strong confidant person. I am working on that, and MOMS is a step in the right direction.

I dropped Michael off in the age appropriate kid zone area and took Shelby to where all the mommies were meeting. I was late but they hadn't started yet but EVERYONE was seated so I was kinda put on the spot trying to find a place to be seated. That had my anxiety shooting through the roof and I started to sweat, bad. I shut down. The women at my table said hello and I gave quick answers not trying to start at convo at all. There were a couple of speakers and I kept thinking to myself, I can relate to what they are saying but this is not for me, I shouldn't be here, I should leave NOW. But, I stayed, I continued to listen, and then I felt myself  opening up. A topic about personality traits really sparked my interest and I felt myself relax as I could hear other moms saying what personality trait they were. 

Our personalities were compared to Pooh, Tigger, Rabbit, and Eeyore. 

Pooh was very loving and kind and everyones friend

Tigger was very bouncy, playful and usually the one oblivious to his surroundings

Rabbit was the very held back, conscious, stick your schedule type

and Eeyore was the type to have his feelings hurt, very VERY easily and always has the feeling of why me?

Guess who I am?

Eeyore

Not because I filled out a survey or because other moms felt that way about me. It's who I am. I take everything so serious. Take things so seriously and often let it go way too deep. My feelings get hurt so often. 

They were comparing all of these personalities with Facebook. How all these personalities perceive things on FB.

Mine couldn't have been anymore true. I find myself getting upset A LOT when I don't get feedback on my photos or things I say. I feel like I am forgotten about, or that people just don't care. I know most of the time that isn't the case, but it's just me and how I take things.

That is why I was so nervous about being in such a large crowd. I just like being in small groups. Well good news. After the two speakers were done I learned it was time to split up into our rooms. The table I was at went into a room where it was just myself and 8 other girls and it was wonderful. We had a discussion topic on friends and each one of us shared. My voice usually gets really shaky when I talk aloud in a group, but today it didn't. I was so proud of myself. I think it's because we were all there, and we all had something in common, we are all moms. I don't have confidence in myself but I do have that in my kids 110%. I didn't feel like I was doing things right for a long time in the beginning but I am proud of my parenting. So speaking based on being on mommy, I spoke with confidence and I felt SOOOO good. 

The group of girls I was placed with are very nice and I am looking forward to spending time with them and getting to know them. 

Also Michael loves playtime but today and after church let out the last couple weeks, Michael starts to cry as soon as he sees the parents coming. I am not sure if he just wants me, or if it's because he's having fun and doesn't want to leave. Hopefully I can figure out what is getting him upset so we can prevent this from happening in the future.