20m & 15d
That is the age of Michael when his sister entered this world.
20 months old is just a few days away for my little surprise.
How does this make me feel?
Just Sad
Sad that for 9 months of Michaels life I was not mentally present as his mother.
Sad that I missed so much with him that I've witnessed with Shelby.
If you ask my husband, he will tell you I've had a heavy heart for months. Bearing witness to all stages Shelby has gone through and hardly remembering any of it with Michael.
I'm just sad that I feel I missed so much.
That lovely baby fever is also at a high with me right now. This is the longest I have gone since 09' without being pregnant. Not to mention it seems like this year is baby making year as 09' seemed to be.
I can say this. I am excited that I have been present with both of my kids for a solid 20 months and plan on staying present. I am beyond blessed to call these Angels mine. I have watched them grow and flourish and am thrilled to bear witness to both of their milestones!
2 comments:
Isn't motherhood so bittersweet? I felt sad when I met your little Shelby. Shelby is my favorite girl name... but one I can't use because my name is Shelly... And also, I feel like I will never have a daughter. I have always felt that way. So when I met your precious (seriously!) little tiny bundle of joy at Fred Meyer all those months ago, I ached for a girl all my own.
Feel the feelings, and let them remind you to be present today. I missed out on so much having twins the first go round, that I have really embraced parenting a singleton this time. I let those lost moments with the twins propel me into parenting Wyatt better.
Hugs my {bloggy} friend!
The good thing is that Michael doesn't remember! Sometimes I feel like it would be so much easier if I had waited longer between babies, but in the long run I know having them close will be great.
And because you're so young you could wait a long time for a third!
Great post.
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